Alhamdulillah

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ 

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

Assalamualaikum, hi world!

There are many things happened for the past few days, and I've got so much to tell. I've came to a decision where I decided to stop being a fangirl of K-pop. It's not easy macam Okay, jom stop minat Kpop liddat.

It was before subuh on Wednesday, I woke up and had sahoor. I didn't feel like going to bed after sahoor when suddenly, out of nowhere (well, it is obviously from Allah), I felt so sad, I felt lost, I felt empty and I felt I've been living in sin all my life. Then, I decided to pray solat taubat at that very moment. After solat, I cried for long looooooong time and this thought of putting a fullstop to Kpop just came to mind.

That was when I've unfollowed all Kpop idols on instagram, especially wanna one that one group I'd been cherishing for the past 2 years. Also, I've unsubscribed channels related to Kpop entertainment on youtube (still got lot to unsubscribe because it's so many!!).

This will be the biggest and hardest decision I've made so far after being a Kpop fan for almost 9 years :") thank you for making me happy and cheering me up for the past years, but sorry I would no longer be needing you from now on InsyaAllah, Amin!!!

This week (and maybe it will take a few more weeks, but o Allah please give me strength to get through this) was difficult for me, mentally and emotionally. I've been crying a lot day and night. It was challenging for me to not clicking to the photos and videos on my instagram explore when it is (still) full with Kpop. It was challenging to not listening to Kpop for 3 days when I was used to listen to it every hour. Bukan lah tak boleh langsung nak dengar lagu atau tengok drama, tapi aku kena kuatkan diri, kuatkan semangat betul betul, baru lah boleh sikit sikit. Kalau tak, mungkin kelaut.

The first person whom I shared this with is Nora, my roommate (ex- huhu) for 2 years. Sebab aku pilih Nora adalah dia kawan, dia lah manusia yang selalu ingatkan aku tentang agama, dia ajak aku buat benda baik, samada dia cakap direct atau aku follow bila tengok dia buat. And Alhamdulillah, she understand me more than other people do 🌿

Masih awal untuk aku kongsi pasal benda ni, tapi the only reason why I share it here is because I want all of you to pray for me supaya aku kuat, sentiasa bagi semangat dan ingatkan aku supaya to be on the right track kalau aku terbabas.

Moga Allah beri kekuatan, Amin!!

Till then xoxo