fila and palapes

Monday, 7 October 2019

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

I'm glad we met and went out 2 weeks in a row before Fila suddenly got picked to be in palapes. Usually weekend is the time we get to spend more time together, otp a lil bit longer, video call too, and go for a date ke huhu after this no more lah tsktsk sedih tapi nak buat macam mana huhu kena berkorban perasan sikit lah 2.5 tahun je insyaAllah 😢

Keep on praying tak kisah sikit macam mana pun masa, busy macam mana pun, jauh macam mana pun, penat macam mana pun, merajuk macam mana pun, our hearts still remain the same. His and mine.

He changed a lot kalau nak dibandingkan dengan masa awal-awal haritu. His feeling and the way he treats me used to get easily affected by his health condition, tired level, emotion towards how people treat him and all. But now, nope. I started realized that when he started part-time work at canopy company during 3 months holiday. He worked for 12 to 18 hours non stop especially during busy days. Went out early in the morning and went home the next morning. He didn't eat at regular time and didn't get to rest and had enough sleep. Yet, he still called me. Replied to my loooooong whatsapp. He let me know he came home late and after he had showered after long tiring day, he still called me and we slept together.

Sure, there are times when he got affected by the pressure his boss and colleagues gave him. And it affected me as well. I cried as if there's no tomorrow. Every hour I texted him, yet no reply. I waited for soooo long yet still nothing changed. My heart ached so much from all the crying. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't breathe properly. It was one of the most difficult moment I've went through. And Alhamdulillah we settled everything the next day after he woke up.

Masa mula-mula dia nak masuk palapes tu aku berat hati. Sebab aku takut stress dan penat tu semua akan affect Fila nanti. Takut dia tak sempat nak study. Takut dia tak cukup rehat. Takut dia terlalu penat. Dan takut jugak dia tak ada masa untuk aku. Banyak kali dia suruh aku prepare mental sebelum dia masuk palapes. Huhu macam mana nak prepare?

Tapi masa weekend ni rasa sedih sikit dan terasa sikit sebab hmmmm tak ada masa. Dua kali cakap nak video call tapi dia lupa dan tak sempat agaknya. Aku ada tunggu jugak haha. Biasalah dia kan busy, penat lagi. Rasa nak nangis pun ada sebenarnya masatu. Haha. Tapi tak ada lah aku bagitahu Fila. Takut dia risau pulak. Tapi insyaAllah sikit-sikit aku boleh tu. Boleh handle, boleh control. InsyaAllah untuk aku, untuk dia ❤ dia reply whatsapp dan call before tidur pun aku dah terharu 1001 tau!!

I pray you get into airforces team soon my dear Fila 💛 may force be with you sweetheart!! Semoga terus kuat fizikal mental dan banggakan ibu abah oki 🙆🏻‍♀️ I'll support you till the end 🌱