I was devastated as soon as I heard the news about his death. My heart stopped beating for awhile, I could hardly breathe, my heart ached and my mind went blank. I was sad but the feelings didn't showed at first. I was confused, hoping the post that went viral about him were a lie.
I do hope this bad news are just some kind of bad joke 😢
I hope his death isn't real.
I couldn't bring myself together. I cried my balls out for the whole week and couldn't stop listening to their old songs, always my favourite out of all.
I think I never mentioned about them here but they were all over my posts in my previous 10 blogs, before I created this one.
Back in 2010, my best friend, Sazianty showed something to the girls in our class. It was SHINee's music video 🎥 That was the first time I heard about Korean and their country. I never knew that country even exist HAHAHAHA but yes, I started to listen to Ring Ding Dong short after she showed it to us and the first thought that came into my mind was Oh god, they all look the same and yes, very handsome hehe 💞 The first Korean guy that catch my attention was Jonghyun and he was my bias for awhile before Key took his place. I was so obsessed with them, I even asked my friend to share SHINee's Hello Baby videos via bluetooth. The amount of space all the videos took in my phone memory just made me more anxious because I couldn't took more selfies or installed some popular games. That was the first Korean variety show I've watched and yes, I had fun laughing and crying through the episodes. I remembered when I received laptop as UPSR present early in 2011, the first thing I googled was SHINee's profiles 😂 I looked up for each member profiles and jotted them down in my notebook and also downloaded hundreds of photos and gifs that have them in it. I can recall those days when I cried silently at night as I listened to The Named I Loved and Last Gift because these two songs are very very very sad I couldn't hold back tears. And again, those songs made me cry.
It has been ages since the last time I was crazy about them.
Ever since, Sherlock, hmm I stopped listen to their songs. I mean, the new ones.
But I still love them, all of them.
No matter how big, successful and popular other groups are, no matter how much I stan over Wanna One; SHINee and Girls Generation will always be my favourite king and queen who let me into this beautiful world and journey of kpop that no one could understand.
I love Jonghyun, I will always do.
May you rest in peace, forget about the hardships you went through and only remember the good ones 💖
I was planning to write a long post, but the words didn't come out. I was planning to write about you Jonghyun oppa, a day after your death when viral, but I couldn't control my feelings. Even when I was answering Public Health test on 19 Dec, I cried. In the class, when lecturer was busy talking infront in the lecture hall, I cried. That's how much you mean to me 💗ðŸ˜
ps:/
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