Salam.
I woke up and end up crying this morning because I had a really bad nightmare last night. That tragedy had passed almost 10 years ago but I guess, I had a trauma without even realizing it. They affect me sooooo bad! I can still feel the pain and see every single thing that had happened that day clearly. I remembered how painful my mom back then and how my sister and I was struggled to save our mom. And how desperated we were trying to contact our family and neighbour to help us. I didn't blame my neighbour for not helping. Even if I was them, I wasn't brave enough to try to deal with someone with a parang in his hand. If we were a bit late, I'm think everything will be different now. I might lose my mom. I'd dreamed of them more than 6 times in 10 years. Just seeing them in dream already scared me to death. Benda paling buruk yang pernah aku alami. And it happened when I was in primary school. No one will ever believe if I say we used to live under the same roof. Well, it's true.
Sometimes, I just wished them to die....
Because they wanted us to.
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