i'm not alone & you are too

Salam.

Honestly, aku bersyukur sangat dan berterima kasih dengan Allah for sending me this one friend who has more knowledge about Islam than I do & selalu ajak aku pergi masjid atau surau untuk kuliah maghrib, bacaan yasin dan sebagainya. Aku sangat la "WOW" (amazed) dengan efforts dia tau, dia bersungguh tengok kat facebook surau dekat dengan rumah sewa kitorang untuk tahu aktiviti surau throughout the month.

Dipendekkan cerita, habis bacaan yasin kat masjid khamis lalu kitorang berdua pun balik rumah. On our way home, she suddenly shared her thought yang aku rasa dah lama dia simpan. She told me she always wanted to build her own family (in the future) yang more islamic. In other words, lebih dekat dengan Allah contohnya selalu pergi masjid etc. Dahtu dia bagitahu lagi yang kita ni nak macam-macam, nak keluarga islamik lah apa semua but then diri kita masih banyak kekurangan. Kita malas pergi masjid and malas nak tuntut ilmu agama (ni apa yang aku rasa dia cuba sampaikan).

Then, I told her yang aku seronok tengok kat drama tv yang satu family akan solat berjemaah sekali and how I wish my family is like that. Dia pun macam Aah I pun nak macamtu jugak. Adding to that point, dia bagitahu la yang her dad bukan la yang jenis selalu sangat pergi surau cuma these days ada pergi & y'know what, my dad is exactly liddat as well :"))))

Teringat pulak masa pergi rumah dia, mak dia ada cakap dengan aku yang dia and her sister ni berbeza. My friend ni jenis yang kena belajar bagai nak rak, baru la dapat good grades. Back in uni, I always thought she is one of top student in our department. Dalam course yang ambik which is Diploma in Pharmacy, aku selalu rasa aku antara those who get lower grades sebab dalam kelas pun aku antara yang rendah jugak la. Everyone is so damn genius duh aih. Just recently, kitorang opened up with each other and shared our cgpa. Then, I realized one thing. She was struggling with studies just like me masa dekat bertam. I always thought I am the only one yang struggle untuk at least lulus in each subjects. I was at my lowest early of semester 4 that I wished to end my diploma. Bongok kan.

Dearself, please know you're not alone walking on this difficult path. Ada ramai lagi kat luar sana yang berhadapan dengan masalah yang sama, cuma kau tak nampak. Because people don't want to show their dark sides in their socmed. Just like how you want to upload only good stuffs on Instagram, macamtu jugak dengan orang lain.

Percayalah, "Your life timeline is different from others. Orang lain mungkin berjaya masa umur 26 tahun, dan Tuhan akan berlaku adil kepada anda and make you successful maybe at the age of 27, 28, 29 or even 30. The point being here is, eventhough you're not successful now, it doesn't mean God is so cruel that He won't give you the opportunity to be successful in the future. You just have to be patience and work for it. There's reasons why qada' & qadar is mysterious to you and unknown to you but known to God, so that you can change your own takdir qada' & qadar" - Hazeman Huzir

Well, I really love those words and his point is 💯!

One of the blessing I received these days is Like, He knows that I'm trying to change to become a better version of myself but there are tons of whisper from satans yang buat aku malas and here you go, He sends me a good friend who can brings me closer to Him. Awww how beautiful is that 🌻😭

Till then, xx